How to Cope When Doctors Dismiss Your Pain And Why You're Still Worth Believing

If you’ve ever left a doctor’s office in tears—not because of your diagnosis, but because you didn’t get one—you’re not alone.

If you’ve heard phrases like “It’s probably just stress,” “Your labs are normal,” or “Maybe try yoga,” when what you really needed was help, not dismissal… I’m so sorry. I see you.

Being disbelieved by someone who’s supposed to help can be one of the most isolating and disheartening experiences. When it happens repeatedly, it doesn’t just affect your physical health—it impacts your mental and emotional well-being, too.

Especially for those of us living with conditions like POTS, autoimmune disorders, or other complex chronic illnesses that don’t always show up on standard labs or scans, the road to diagnosis (or even acknowledgment) can be long and lonely.

So how do we cope when we’re brushed off or made to feel like it’s all in our head?

1. Start With This Truth: You’re Not Making It Up

Let me say that louder for the people in the back: Your symptoms are real. Your pain is valid. Your experience matters.

Being dismissed by a provider can plant seeds of self-doubt, especially when you’re already exhausted or vulnerable. But you don’t need someone’s permission to believe yourself. The body doesn’t lie—and neither do you.

You’re not being dramatic. You’re not attention-seeking. You’re doing your best to advocate for yourself in a system that sometimes requires more persistence than it ever should.

2. Name the Trauma of Medical Gaslighting

Yes—this can be traumatic.

When someone in a position of authority dismisses your lived experience, especially in a moment of need, it can trigger deep feelings of powerlessness, fear, shame, and rage. It’s not just frustrating—it can leave real psychological wounds.

Give yourself permission to grieve those moments. To cry, to rage, to feel the unfairness of it all. You’re not “too sensitive.” You’ve been hurt. And that hurt

deserves to be honored.

3. Build a Support System That Does Believe You

Whether it’s a trusted friend, a partner, a therapist, or an online community of others with similar experiences—surrounding yourself with people who believe you can be deeply healing.

You don’t have to walk this alone.

4. Find One Safe Provider (Even If It Takes Time)

This one can feel daunting—but even just one validating, informed provider can be a game-changer. Sometimes it means getting a second (or third) opinion, or finding someone who specializes in your condition.

Yes, the search can be exhausting—but you deserve care that honors your full humanity. You are not a burden. You are a person worthy of dignity and competent care.

5. Regulate Your Nervous System After Difficult Appointments

It’s common to leave a dismissal-feeling appointment feeling flooded, anxious, or numb. That’s your nervous system trying to protect you. When you can, gently check in with your body:

• Take slow, deep breaths

• Wrap yourself in a blanket or use weighted comfort

• Go for a walk (if you’re able)

• Put your hand over your heart and say, “That was hard. I am still here.”

Small acts of regulation help your body release what it was holding in that moment.

6. Let Go of the Need to Convince Everyone

This one’s hard—but sometimes, the most liberating thing we can do is release the pressure to prove our pain to people who’ve already decided not to listen.

You deserve to be heard. But not everyone is safe to speak to.

Focus your energy on healing, finding aligned care, and holding space for your emotions. You don’t owe anyone your story if they’ve already shown they won’t respect it.

A Final Word

If no one has said this to you lately: I believe you.

I believe your pain is real. I believe your frustration is valid. I believe you’ve fought battles most people don’t even see.

And if you’re carrying emotional wounds from years of dismissal, know that healing is possible—not just for your body, but for your heart.

You are not alone. And you are not the problem.

—

If you’re navigating chronic illness, medical trauma, or the emotional toll of being dismissed by doctors, I’d be honored to hold space for your story. Therapy can be a place to rebuild trust in yourself and in others.

Let’s take the next step, together.