Supporting Your Child Through an Eating Disorder: A Compassionate Guide

As a parent, one of the most heart-wrenching moments is realizing that your child is struggling with an eating disorder. It can feel like your world shifts under your feet—questions flood in, and it’s hard to know where to start. “How did this happen?” “What can I do to help?” And perhaps most painfully, “Is my child going to be okay?”

First off, let me say this: You’re not alone, and there is hope. Eating disorders are incredibly complex, but recovery is possible. Your support, love, and patience can be life-changing for your child as they navigate this journey. But it’s also okay to feel overwhelmed. This process isn’t quick or easy, and it will take time, compassion, and understanding—from both you and your child.

Here’s a compassionate guide with a few things you can do to help your child through this difficult time.

1. Start by Listening, Not Fixing

When your child is struggling with an eating disorder, it’s easy to feel the urge to “fix” things immediately. But before jumping into solutions, sometimes the best first step is just to listen.

Sit with your child and let them express what they’re feeling. Avoid judgment, and try not to offer immediate advice or solutions. Instead, validate their feelings and let them know you’re there to support them, no matter what. Simple phrases like, “I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way,” or “I’m here to listen whenever you’re ready to talk” can go a long way.

Sometimes, just knowing they’re not alone in this battle can be incredibly powerful.

2. Avoid Focusing on the Body

It’s natural to want to point out how wonderful your child looks or how proud you are of their strength. But when someone is struggling with an eating disorder, compliments about appearance can unintentionally reinforce the focus on looks, which often feeds the cycle.

Instead, focus on celebrating their efforts, their courage, and their growth as a person. Comments like, “I’m so proud of how strong you are,” or “I see how hard you’re trying to get better” can shift the conversation from outward appearances to the internal qualities that truly matter.

3. Encourage Professional Help (and Take Care of Yourself, Too)

Recovery from an eating disorder often requires professional help—therapists, dietitians, and doctors who specialize in eating disorders. Encouraging your child to seek help is vital, but so is ensuring that you have support too. You’re going through a difficult emotional journey yourself, and it’s important to seek guidance from professionals, support groups, or other parents who understand.

Having someone to talk to can make a huge difference in helping you stay grounded and empowered as you support your child.

4. Set Boundaries Around Discussions of Food and Weight

This can be tricky, but it’s essential to set some gentle boundaries around how you talk about food and weight in your home. Avoid discussing diets, body sizes, or weight loss, even in passing. Instead, focus on nourishing and taking care of the body in healthy ways—such as getting enough rest, staying hydrated, and engaging in activities that promote emotional well-being.

The less emphasis on weight and food, the easier it will be for your child to feel like they can trust their body and start healing.

5. Give Yourself Grace, Too

Helping your child through an eating disorder is no small task. You might feel helpless, frustrated, or even guilty at times—but you’re doing the best you can, and that’s enough. It’s important to remind yourself that recovery is a process, and there will be good days and bad days.

Taking care of yourself is crucial, too. Make time to rest, engage in activities you enjoy, and seek support when needed. You can’t pour from an empty cup, so be sure to fill yours up when you need it.

Final Thoughts

Remember, recovery is a journey—one that takes time, patience, and a lot of courage. And while this path may not always be easy, your child’s ability to heal, grow, and thrive is possible with the right support.

You don’t have to do this alone. There are resources, professionals, and communities out there to help guide both you and your child through this process. And know that you’re showing up for your child in one of the most loving ways possible by being there for them, every step of the way.

With warmth and understanding,

Morgan Sanford, LMSW